Universal Language: Shuffle
by Ashana
Summary: A night guard tries to bring the animatronics into the 21st century. A series of one-shots and short arcs taking place in my Universal Language AU. There will be humor, drama, fights, and very much annoyance of a certain bossy bear. Enjoy!


**Shuffle**

 **1: All About That Swearing**

 **(Between Cuneiform and Hieroglyph)**

It was nearly three in the morning, and Freddy was enjoying the quiet that cloaked his pizzeria. It had been a very busy day, and ever since that new night guard Roni had begun working, the nights had become equally eventful. The addition of the five Toy animatronics, as well as the two lurking shadows Shaf and Shab, had ruined any chance he had at a peaceful night.

Tonight was an odd exception. Roni had brought in her laptop, a small projector, and a series of movies titled 'Pirates of the Caribbean.' She'd set it up in the basement, claiming that the dark would make it more like a movie theater and would add to the atmosphere of the 'Black Pearl,' whatever that was. The others were all for it – Toys and Originals alike. Freddy was the only one who opted out of the viewing. He remained upstairs while the others tromped down, talking animatedly about the trilogy. Even Shaf looked mildly interested.

For nearly two glorious hours, the old bear had been alone upstairs, listening to the sound of nothing and able, for the first time in weeks, to hear his own thoughts. Roni had appeared at the stairs then, clutching a bloody nose and swearing that she was never sitting beside Bonnie during a scary-ish movie ever again. She'd waved Freddy off when he'd seen her, explaining that an animatronic elbow to the nose was no big deal anymore, and he'd watched from the stage as she went to the bathroom to clean up. Surprisingly, she didn't return to the basement. Instead she retreated to her office when she was done, and had left him to his thoughts once more.

An hour later she'd reemerged, though she hadn't approached the bear, apparently understanding that he needed his space. Instead she'd disappeared into the kitchen, popping out a moment later with a slice of pizza and a soda. Freddy, personally, couldn't understand how she still enjoyed the food after eating it almost every night for the past few months. Chica always made sure there was a small pizza in the fridge for the human, with a variety of toppings available. Roni was always happy to munch on a slice or two during her shift, though the girl hadn't been eating as much lately. The girl also had her cell phone out, and was singing along to a song.

 _"...go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that..._ "

Freddy frowned and quickly moved from the stage to intercept the girl before she reached the east hall.

"Miss Byrd," he obviously startled the girl, as she jumped, dropping her soda. The bear barely managed to catch it before it splashed to the tiles.

"Oh, shit," Roni fumbled with her full hands, turning off her music and taking the soda from the bear. "Sorry, Freddy. You scared me." She laughed.

"My apologies," Freddy said, his serious demeanor immediately raising red flags for the guard. "Roni, I need to speak with you about something important."

The girl's smile faltered. "Oh?"

"Yes. I have noticed over the past few months that you tend to swear a lot while at work," he explained, "and I want to ask that you stop."

"You want me to stop _swearing_?" Roni asked, a brow quirked. "Er, Freddy, it's just how I talk. I can't just _stop_ , it's a habit. Besides, it's not hurting anybody!" She laughed softly.

"Roni," he growled, "I'm not simply requesting this of you. This is a family restaurant and foul language has no place here."

"Are you kidding me?" Roni looked around the empty dining hall. "There aren't any children here, they don't know if I swear or not. And I've heard you swear on occasion too!'

"Yes, but on occasion is not the same as swearing every-other word, and I have only ever done it in times of duress."

"Oh now you're just exaggerating!"

"Perhaps, but the point still stands." The bear glanced at her phone, where the song was still on pause. "I also ask that you stop playing music that has swearing in it. I do not want the others to hear any songs like that, and accidentally repeat them to the children."

"Now you're just being paranoid," Roni scolded, shaking her head. "The others are smart enough to not swear in front of the kids, and to always use the radio-edits of the songs that _do_ have cussing!"

Freddy huffed and crossed his arms, scowling down at her. "My worry is still valid," he grunted, and Roni absently noted that when he was angry he used bigger or fancier words, "and you will stop."

The girl rolled her eyes and began down the east hallway. "No Freddy, I won't, and do you know why?" She fiddled with her phone a bit, having to tuck the soda in the crook of her arm to she could use her thumb. She hit the play button, and music burst down the hall, along with a female singer.

"'Cause _I'm bringing booty BAAAAAAAAACK!"_ Roni sang along with Meghan Trainor at the top of her lungs, " _go 'head and tell them skinny BITCHES thaaaaat!"_ The night guard danced down the rest of the hallway to her office, swinging her hips as she went.

At the end of the hall, Freddy dropped his head into a hand and groaned, hoping that her potty-mouth wouldn't rub off on the more impressionable animatronics. He returned to the stage and tried to re-immerse himself in the quiet. Perhaps if he addressed the issue with Jon, he would be able to speak some sense into her...

 _"Well, Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world-"_

...right after Freddy throttled him for putting Wifi in the building.

* * *

 **AN: Yay, one-shots! Shuffle will be a place for the little short stories that happen between the Universal Language stories. After all, Roni has a lot to teach the animatronics to catch them up to the 21st century!**

 **Please review, and if you have any ideas about what Movie/Music/Etc Roni should introduce them to, let me know! I'm not taking requests, but any ideas are appreciated and might be used.**


End file.
